Are you subconsciously sabotaging your own dissertation? Why all dissertation students need to understand ‘fear of success’.
We’re all familiar with terms like imposter syndrome and dissertation procrastination.
We’ve all heard other students, or even ourselves say, “I haven’t done any work on my dissertation since ____”, “I just can’t find time to work on it”.
When I was researching this blogpost, I was looking at the search terms people use on Google when they’re looking for advice about their dissertations. I kept coming across stuff like, “Can you write a dissertation in two weeks?”, “What happens if I fail my dissertation?”. I also came across a load of “services” that say they’ll write your dissertation for you for the exchange of a not inconsiderable amount of money.
It got me thinking, how do we end up there?
How have we got to a point where we’re sitting in front of our laptop, or on our phone, typing into the Google search bar, “Can you write a dissertation in two weeks?”, or seriously considering just paying someone to write it. What’s the deal with that?
When people are typing in that kind of stuff, they’re fearing failure.
You’ve had the “Oh, shit!” moment.
You don’t have a lot of time, and frankly, you feel like you’ve monumentally screwed up. You’re thinking, “How did I let it get to this point?”, “How have I got myself into this mess?”.
Fear of failure is most definitely going on at this stage, right?
It sure is. However, I don’t think this began as a fear of failure. It turned into a fear of failure. It all started out as a fear of success.
Mmm, yeah, I know what you’re thinking, “Like, really?”. Now, I was super sceptical when I first came across all this stuff about the fear of success too. But as I read more about it, as I thought about my student’s successes and my own successes, I became convinced that there’s something in it!
Let’s take a deeper look at this by examining what you actually want from your dissertation, identifying why you don’t want those things (stay with me here – all will become clear!), and exploring what you can do to tackle the fear of success.
What do you want from your dissertation?
Now, I want you to just take a moment to think about what you want from your dissertation. What do you want to achieve? What’s it all for? What are your goals? It might be things like…
To feel accomplished.
To master the research process from start to finish by doing my own project.
To prepare myself for a career in research.
To understand more about an issue or a group of people so I can work more effectively to support those people.
To get a promotion in my job, I can’t get on the next rung if I don’t complete it.
It also helps to think about what your dissertation will enable you to be available for, things like...
Available for a graduate job.
Available to better serve other people.
Available to be a role model for others.
Available to make more money.
Available for a lifestyle upgrade, like taking on a mortgage, or a bigger mortgage, getting a better car.
Available for a pay rise.
Available for status, recognition and authority.
We often don’t sit down and take the time to think about these bigger picture motivators. We know they’re there, but maybe they were part of a decision you made months or years ago, and you feel a bit detached from them now that you’re in the weeds trying to actually do your dissertation.
Why don’t you want those things?
Now, we’re going to look at why you don’t want those things you’ve just written down.
Oooh. Yeah, I know, this one can feel really weird.
It’s a really important step, so please don’t skip it. Go through your list, take each of those things in turn and think about all the reasons why you don’t want it.
Say for example, you need to finish your dissertation because you need your degree to get into a particular profession or a graduate scheme. Why wouldn’t you want to get into that profession or onto that graduate scheme? Because that comes with a particular type of pressure and responsibility and a level of expectation about how you should perform in that role? Do you feel you’re not worthy of that, you’re a bit intimidated by the kind of people who work in that field? If you were to get into that field, what would the reaction of your friends and family be? Is getting that job going to make you available for other things - a mortgage, a relationship or another form of long term commitment? How do you feel about that, like honestly?
Take another one, say your reason was because you wanted to be a role model for others. Why wouldn’t you want to be a role model for others? Are you harbouring some underlying stuff about not being good enough? Are you thinking about what being a role model entails in terms of showing up, in terms of setting an example, in terms of having people respect you and want to emulate you, and need things from you?
Make sure you dig deep on this one, because it can be incredibly revealing. It can help uncover the thoughts and feelings that might be holding you back from succeeding in your dissertation because there are some fears about what the implications might be.
Think carefully about things you say to yourself on a regular basis here. We all have limiting beliefs, those sentences starting with, “I can’t”, or “I’m not”, or “I’ll never be”. What are you saying to yourself about your dissertation?
Think about the kind of things you are doing – or not doing - in terms of your dissertation. Are you setting aside time to work on it and getting nothing done or getting distracted? Are you procrastinating? Are you focusing on the barriers, the things getting in your way or the skills you don’t think you have?
When we look closely at all of these things, what becomes quite clear is that they’re all part of the same process. Self-sabotage.
There is a part of us that keeps us playing small because we’re actually a bit scared, not of success itself, but of the implications of success.
Success would represent some kind of change, and as humans we love the path of least resistance, we’re not big fans of change. Self-sabotage is a way of protecting ourselves. It’s about keeping ourselves safe. Staying in our lane. Not rocking the boat. Not challenging expectations that we or other people have of ourselves.
How to overcome the fear of success
What you need to do next is to get really clear on where you stand now on some of those blocks. And the phrases, “I don’t do…” and “I am available for” can be a helpful way of reframing things.
I don’t do procrastination.
I don’t do ‘stuck’.
I am available for prioritising my dissertation.
I am available for creating boundaries around my time and saying ‘no’ to people sometimes.
I am available for receiving help from others.
Get really intentional now with some very clear statements about what you’re doing from hereon in.
You might also want to try visualisation.
Visualisation is when you imagine how your dissertation is going to play out and you get really detailed about it. Your mind is an amazing thing when it comes to visualisation, and I’ll give you a quick example just to get you in the zone.
Imagine walking into a shop that sells donuts. Can you smell them? You pick up a donut from a basket on the counter with a pair of plastic tongs. Can you imagine how the plastic tongs feel in your hand? You put the donut in a paper bag, can you sense how that bag feels to hold, the noise it makes when you crumple it? You pay with your card, holding it over the machine, your hear it beep, you get your receipt and leave the shop. When you get outside, you open the bag, take the donut out and bite into it. Can you feel the texture of it, can you taste that?
You are able to visualise your senses: seeing, hearing, smelling, touching, tasting. They are incredibly powerful.
Set aside some time to visualise in relation to your dissertation. Really home in on what you want to happen at a particular point, for example when you hand it in, when you get your grade or outcome for it, or when you’re celebrating having succeeded.
Let’s take when you find out your grade or outcome. If that’s via an online portal, you’re going to imagine where you’ll be when you log in to find out. Where you’ll be sitting. How that chair will feel. The feel of the keys on your laptop or the screen on your phone. Imagine seeing the grade on the screen, the physical feelings of finding out you’ve absolutely smashed it, that gasp, that laugh, that shriek or victory dance if that’s your thing. How your body will be feeling. How the people around you will react, congratulating you, saying, “I knew you could do it!”.
If you have an in-person viva or oral defence of your thesis, you’ll imagine walking into the room with the examiners. You’ll envisage what they’ll say to you and what you’ll say to them. You hear the sound of your own voice, confidently answering their questions. You’ll imagine what you’ll be wearing, the feel of those clothes on your skin. You’ll imagine sipping from a glass of water and what will happen when the examiners tell you you’ve been successful, how their hand will feel as they shake yours if you’re a handshake person. If not, you’ll imagine how else they’ll congratulate you and feel all of the sensations that come with that. Put yourself in that place, in that room
Through regularly doing visualisations like these, you can literally reprogramme your mind for success. It makes it real, tangible, inevitable, it’s just happening. Give it a try!
Next steps
If you’ve enjoyed reading this blogpost, feel like you’ve had a shift in your mindset already, and are super keen to get on with some work today, take a look at my Dissertation Planner Shop! It’s full of planners, worksheets and cheat sheets to help you in every chapter of your thesis, like the Get Organised pack below!
